Sarah McMurray Blog

It is a scorcher today and, like everyone else in the UK, I am wilting. So I decided to put together a short blog about all the questions I had about therapy before I began my own journey into counselling and psychotherapy. Disclosure: it was a requirement of my training to be in weekly therapy for two years. It was a journey and made me even more driven to build my counselling practice. So here goes — a quick run through of all the questions I can think of and some answers.

As spring turns into early summer across the UK, many university students find themselves in a familiar yet emotionally complex place: facing final exams, preparing to leave university, and asking the unsettling question— what happens next? From a psychodynamic perspective, this is a time rich with meaning. Beneath the surface stress of exams and deadlines, deeper feelings and internal conflicts are often stirred. For some, this transition feels straightforward. If you’ve en

The term people pleasing is often used casually, but psychologically it describes something far deeper than simply being helpful. At its core, people pleasing is about seeking emotional reassurance. It involves trying to gain comfort from feeling liked, valued or approved of by others. For many people, it becomes a way of managing an underlying fear: the fear of rejection. People who struggle with people-pleasing behaviour often feel a persistent need to maintain a positive

In the therapy room, it can be tempting to remain within familiar emotional territory, perhaps hoping that the therapist in front of you has a ‘magic box of tricks’ to take away anxiety, trauma, or emotional distress. This wish, in itself, can reflect long-standing relational patterns: avoidant attachment, emotional withdrawal, or a fear of depending on another. Psychodynamic therapy invites us to pause and turn our attention inward. What do we keep hidden? What is visible to

How are those NY resolutions working out? Is it Dry January, Veganuary, going to the gym, losing weight, getting up at 5am to meditate, using that planner – WHATEVER it is you have set yourself for 2026, how is it going? Are you euphoric and in the pink cloud of success? Or have you already ‘failed’ and feeling that you can never change because you are YOU, your own self-fulfilling prophecy. Every year on repeat: Eat better. Drink less. Be more disciplined. Be more produc

In my last post, I explored perfectionism. It feels fitting to follow this with a look at a time of year when pressure to get everything right is at its peak. Christmas often comes with expectations of being the perfect host: cooking a feast, delighting in thoughtful presents, playing games, and frequently adding a heady mix of alcohol. But what happens when alcohol becomes a problem at Christmas? How do you cope when behaviour becomes challenging? And how do you protect you

The problem with trying to be perfect: A psychodynamic view It took time in my own therapy to tolerate that I struggled with perfectionism. Perfectionism is often admired, driven in part by social media’s relentless offering of glittering and aspirational curated worlds. But as Tolkien tells us - ‘all that glitters is not gold’. Inside the perfectionist’s emotional world, it is rarely experienced as admirable. It is exhausting. It is lonely. And it is driven less by aspirati

As a therapist, I am not immune to stressful periods. Workload/ life balance management, a busy client private practice, an over-flowing...

For many young people, the transition to university is framed as an exciting leap into adulthood — new friendships, freedom to study your...