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Low self-esteem can show up as a nagging feeling that you’re not quite good enough. You know intellectually that you are capable, but still find yourself questioning yourself, comparing yourself to others, or feeling that you could always have done better. This leads to feelings of imposter syndrome and an unease that life isn't at it should be even though on paper it is.  This can make it difficult to recognise your own strengths or feel comfortable with who you are.

 

You may be struggling with:

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• Constant self-doubt or second-guessing yourself

• Comparing yourself to other people and feeling that you fall short

• Finding it difficult to accept compliments or recognise your achievements

• Feeling like you’re not good enough, despite what you have achieved

• Perfectionism and being highly critical of yourself

• People-pleasing or putting other people’s needs before your own

• Difficulty setting boundaries or saying no

• Fear of failure, rejection or getting things wrong

• Feeling uncomfortable taking up space or expressing your needs

• Focusing on what you have done wrong rather than what you have done well

• Feeling like an imposter or that you will eventually be 'found out'

• Struggling to make decisions because you don’t trust your own judgement

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Despite an outward confidence, low self-esteem can begin to take is toll and affect key areas of your life and create a sense of paralysis when it comes to decisions and recognising emotions. Key areas are:

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• Relationships: Difficult relationship dynamics, rejection, criticism or feeling that you need to earn love and approval.

• Work and achievement: Perfectionism, comparison, burnout or feeling that your achievements are never quite enough.

• Academic and social pressure: Fear of failure, high expectations and comparing yourself with others.

• Social media: Seeing carefully presented versions of other people’s lives and feeling that you’re falling behind.

• Life transitions: Starting university, changing career, becoming a parent, divorce or separation.

• Past experiences: Bullying, criticism, difficult family dynamics or experiences that have affected how you see yourself.

• Loss and change: Periods of uncertainty or change can sometimes bring existing doubts about yourself to the surface.

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Seeking help

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This may be the first time you have considered an open conversation about how you feel about yourself, and I understand it can feel like a big step. There is no judgement and the session is a confidential space. I don't offer advice or attempt to 'fix' you. Instead, we listen together to the ways you experience yourself and explore where some of these feelings may have come from.

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As we begin to make sense of these patterns together, you may start to understand the difference between what you know about yourself and what you feel about yourself. Over time, this can create space for a more compassionate and realistic sense of who you are.

 

Questions

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Do I need to have very low self-esteem to start counselling?

No. You don’t need a particular level of self-esteem or a diagnosis to start counselling. If the way you see yourself is affecting your relationships, work or day-to-day life, it can be worth exploring.

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Can counselling help if I know I'm capable but still don't feel good enough?

Yes. We can explore the gap between what you know rationally and how you feel emotionally, and begin to understand the patterns that keep self-doubt in place.

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Is low self-esteem always caused by something that happened in the past?

Not necessarily. Self-esteem can be shaped by many different experiences, relationships and circumstances. Counselling can help us explore what may be contributing to how you see yourself.

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How is psychodynamic counselling different from CBT?

CBT often focuses on identifying and changing unhelpful thoughts and behaviours in the present. Psychodynamic counselling explores underlying emotional themes and longer-term patterns, including how past experiences and relationships may influence how you see yourself now.

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How long does counselling for low self-esteem take?

It varies. Some people come for a focused period; others prefer longer-term work. We can review this together as we go.

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What happens in the first session?

We’ll talk about what’s been happening, what you’re hoping for, and whether this feels like the right fit. There’s no pressure to commit.

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Do you offer online counselling for low self-esteem?

Yes. Online sessions can work well for exploring self-esteem and can be a good option if travel feels difficult.

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How do I get started?

Use the contact form to arrange an initial conversation and we’ll take it from there.

 

Related reading:

Perfectionism

People-pleasing

Anxiety

Self-worth